


please don't ever become a stranger

by starksrhodey



Series: Hold On To The Memories [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Endgame: SteveTony, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, Hurt Tony, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It, Slight Canon Divergence, Superhusbands (Marvel), flangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 19:20:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14700555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starksrhodey/pseuds/starksrhodey
Summary: Tony wakes up after being brought to Wakanda’s medical wing by our favorite super soldier. This is what happens next.





	please don't ever become a stranger

Tony let out a throaty groan, parting his lips briefly as he tried to gather his wits. Cotton. His mouth felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton. His gaze focused upwards, piercing the ceiling as his calloused fingers grasped at the bedding. He swallowed. Soft sheets. Was he in a hospital? He tried to gradually sit up, wincing as his abdomen cried out in protest. The IVs in his arms didn’t seem to pleased with him either, especially if the uncomfortable prodding sensation tugging at their inserts was anything to go by.

“Hey, hey, Tones,” Rhodey rushed in the room, not even hesitating before coming to his side. He gently began pressing him to lay back down, “Try to take it easy. I know how you are about listening to doctors orders.”

“Ugh,” Tony croaked, a strangled chuckle slipping past his dry lips, “Don’t think you should smack talk the patient.”

“Well, on the bright side,” Rhodey laughed, the skin around his eyes crinkling in mirth, “Your prognosis is in. Seems like you’ll live.”

“Just my luck,” Tony groaned once again, wincing as the bright lights blurred his vision. Had it all been a dream? Was there a fight in... Was it New York? Was he back at the tower or was it the compound? Where was–

“Tony!”

The sound of that voice stilled him, his breath hitching ever so slightly. His eyes widened in shock as they glanced up and locked gazes with those all too familiar baby blues. Steve’s face was painted in pure unadulterated joy, the bush on his face ever so slightly hiding his upturned mouth. Tony noticed the facial hair just as the heart monitor machine starting going wild.

“Steve,” Rhodey sighed, sounding far more disappointed than the situation called for. “Man, what’d I say? I’d come get you. He just woke up.”

“I- sorry,” Steve nodded jerkily, his expression faltering, “I was just checking in. Like I’ve–“

“Checked in every hour, yes,” Rhodey crossed the room slowly, as if he were approaching a grenade. He nodded understandingly, stopping just close enough to clasp his hand against Steve’s shoulder, “Let’s give him some time. I’ll send after you in a few, sound good?” There wasn’t any room left to argue; that much was clear. Tony almost would’ve laughed if it had been anyone else Rhodey was giving the third degree to.

“Of course,” Steve glanced briefly at Tony, a wary look crossing his face before looking away just as quickly, jerking his thumb back into what Tony assumed to be the hall, “I’ll just be.” Steve trailed off before turning on his heel, briskly walking away with his shoulders tensed.

Rhodey stared after him with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. He idly wondered if having a flair for the dramatic came with the superhero package. Or maybe the complex just developed over time. He scowled as Tony began clapping, the sound breaking the silence in the now quiet room. 

“That?” Tony pointed towards the spot Steve previously occupied before motioning towards Rhodey, “Now that was a show. I’ll give it to you. Don’t even think I’ve ever had him that flustered.”

“Hey, man, no,” Rhodey made a face of disgust. “I’m just starting to like him again. Don’t remind me.”

“Like him?” Tony’s brows shot up, faux gasping, “Did I just hear those words come from your mouth? You said you like Steve? Steve Rogers?”

Rhodey raised his hands in surrender, shrugging, “Listen, I know in the past I had my minor reservations–“

“Minor!” Tony cackled, throwing his head back, “You hid all my underwear before my first date with him! Which, by the way, was convenient since it made it easier afterwards–“

“What did I say!” Rhodey slapped his hands over his ears, “Not exactly what I want to hear.”

Tony smirked.

Rhodey sighed, carefully walking along the end of Tony’s bed before settling next to Tony’s legs, his hands running up and down his thighs. “I realized there are worse things to worry about than the people you decide to... be with.”

Tony pursed his lips, settling back against the pillows. The situation didn’t seem as amusing anymore. “Something happened. Tell me.”

“Tony,” Rhodey glanced away, avoiding his gaze, “It’s not– Listen man, you just had surgery. It’s probably not the best idea to talk about stressful situations so soon.”

“Oh yeah?” Tony scoffed, giving Rhodey’s backside a hard jab, “What’s stressful is you labeling a situation you won’t tell me as being such! C’mon. Don’t make me pull out IOU’s.”

“There’s a time and place–“

“Summer 2007. Cannes.”

Rhodey raised his hands in surrender, scowling, “Fine, fine....” he trailed off with a sigh, staring at his hands, “When you went missing–“

Tony tensed up, every single cell in his body screaming at him to abort. Abort mission. He wasn’t ready, not yet. Not now. He let out a shaky breath, his eyes prickling with tears as memories flashed through his thoughts.

“I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again,” Rhodey’s voice sounded far away. Tony could hear the blood pumping through his ears. “I thought– We all thought we lost you.”

“We?” Tony managed to ask.

“Bruce and I, hell, Pepper too,” Rhodey added, reaching out to grasp Tony’s hand, “We found your phone.”

Tony almost laughed. He had been carted off to space, trying to rescue a sorcerer. Yes, they exist. A sorcerer he just met, at that. Who was protecting an infinity stone that a genocide-craving alien was seeking to power a golden gauntlet. Or well, Thanos may be worse than anyone they’ve ever faced. All while that happened, the burner phone he carried around had been lost and found. And used, apparently.

“He came,” Rhodey spoke with conviction, his voice suddenly sounding stronger, “We called him and they all came running.”

“Well, yeah,” Tony furrowed his brow in confusion, “Alien invasion 2.0 in New York? Wizards, Bruce, galore? Ring a bell?”

“No, you asshole,” Rhodey swatted at him, rolling his eyes, “We told them you were missing.”

Tony paused, his breath hitching.

“He came because of you,” Rhodey spoke slowly, his eyes glazing over briefly, “I thought, ‘Man, Tones and I had a long run. This feels like... this is it.’ I felt hopeless. We didn’t know where you were or how to even start to try and find you. And they knew even less than us. But we called them anyways. And Steve came.”

“I don’t–“ Tony anxiously picked at the material in his lap, “What am I supposed to say?”

“Nothing, just listen,” Rhodey inhaled, “I always thought Steve to be a bit arrogant. Still do, actually.” Tony cracked a smile at that. “But I see now... he’s still the same guy who would drop everything to help you. And that meant a lot to me when I felt... When I felt like I lost you. For good.”

Tony nodded slowly, smiling wryly, “So just like that? I forgive him?”

“Hell,” Rhodey spread his arms out, “What has happened to make me of all people… vouch for Cap? No way, man. The two of you still have some deep shit to discuss. And I mean, a whole lotta issues with trust, commitment–“

“Okay, okay,” Tony kicked at him, “There are things to work through. I get that.”

“Things,” Rhodey scoffed at the word, “I’m serious. I’m not afraid to go Dr. Phil on both of your asses. Especially his. He doesn’t get to break you and leave me to pick up the pieces. Not again, no. We’re not playing this game anymore.”

“Sorry my trauma was such an inconvenience,” Tony yawned, running a hand through his disheveled hair, “I’ll make sure to redirect it in a different fashion next time.”

“Don’t do that,” Rhodey frowned, his gaze softening, “That’s not what I meant. And you know it. I’m always here for you. That won’t change. I’m just saying the dude should know better than to allow there to be a next time.”

Rhodey squeezed his hand.

Tony squeezed back.

“And don’t think we’re not going to discuss your deep seated insecurity next,” Rhodey added, dodging a half-heartedly thrown pillow, before chuckling, “Listen! I’m serious– Ow, Tones!”  
__________

“Our surgeons have guaranteed that the process was minimally invasive,” Shuri nodded politely, “A simple in and out procedure. With a few pints of blood infusions.”

“You’re telling me,” Tony muttered, eyes roaming over his already faded scar. “This baby looks months old.”

The two of them were seated in a small office connected to the medical wing. Tony’s X-Rays and MRI scans were currently highlighted and projected onto the wall before them.

“Wakandan technology is quite advanced, Doctor Stark,” Shuri smirked, raising her brow, “I’m told you go by Mr. Stark in terms of formalities. Quite peculiar for a man who has the right to use Doctor... It adds an air of superiority, wouldn’t you say?”

“Well, yeah,” Tony shrugged, seeming suddenly uncomfortable, “I’ve just never really been one for.. that.” He shuffled his feet and glanced around the sterile room for a distraction.

“I am quite aware,” she softened her tone, “My brother spoke very highly of you. I would be quite interested in having you join me in my lab, perhaps... Another time. Given the circumstances, of course.”

“Sounds great, Princess,” Tony quickly agreed, his mind supplying the words she ever so clearly refused to speak. Half of their friends and families had... left. He more than understood her reluctance to partake in the joys of science. “Though I’m sure you’re far more advanced than my tech. You could take me to school, surely.”

“Oh, I know,” she smiled mischievously as he let out a barking laugh, “As I said. Another time.”

“I’d love to,” he nodded in agreement, pausing as he outstretched his hand. Did he reach out to shake her hand or was that breaching some sort of royal protocol? 

She quirked her lips, a knowing smile tugging at the corner of her mouth before offering her fist, nodding towards it. Tony cautiously closed his own into a fist, his face lighting up in realization as she butted her own against his.

“It’s nice to meet you, Tony Stark,” she grinned, seeming much more her age with her pearly whites on display, “I believe you can see your way back up to the guest floors?”

Tony nodded amicably, a ghost of a smile on his face as she gave him one last searching look before exiting the room. He exhaled, peering at his abdomen as it was projected onto the opposite wall. The stab wound was quite peculiar, the surgeons had informed him. They’ve never seen anything quite like it. He laughed darkly. Yeah, because he had built it himself. And proceeded to get stabbed with his own technology. Although... it certainly wouldn’t be the first time something he made was used against him. Or the last, probably.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets before shooting the screen one last look and gradually making his exit. His thoughts raced as he walked through the corridor. How long had it been since Peter– since Titan? Were any plans in place for this sort of scenario? Had Maria or, hell, even Fury been in contact? Tony figured Rhodey would have contacted Pepper by now and informed her of his condition. Unless.. unless she had also been– No. He refused to even entertain the thought. She’s safe. In New York. With Happy. Happy. _Damn it_ , Tony cursed. _You went and let all these people work their way into your life and heart and now– you can’t even protect them._

Tony ran a hand down his face, brow furrowing as he neared the sound of voices. It took him a second to realize he had found his way back up to communion guest floor. His steps faltered. The team. He inhaled, rolled his shoulders, and forced a calm expression onto his face. He told himself he could do this. He could play pretend and make a quick escape. It’s only been two years since he had faced all of them. Hopefully–

“Tones!”

Rhodey.

He let out a sigh of relief. 

“Honey bear,” Tony tossed out a leer, pinching Rhodey’s side. “Keep greeting me like that and a fella will get ideas.”

“I take it your meeting with Princess Shuri went well?” Rhodey chuckled, motioning towards a nearby barstool and island, seeming at ease as he took a seat. Tony opted out of the seat. 

Instead, he glanced around, nodding as he took in the faces of... his– the team. Natasha. Bruce. Thor. Nebula. Rocket, the talking raccoon Rhodey had told him could speak, somehow. Steve. Steve. They were all scattered on a variety of couches. Thor was holding a quiet conversation with his fellow space buddies while Natasha seemed to be in a heated discussion with Steve. Bruce waved.

“Tony!” Bruce rose, his cry halting the surrounding conversations, “It’s good to see you walking.”

“As opposed to?” Tony quirked a brow, offering his hand as Bruce neared, faltering as he pulled him in. “Ooph. Yeah, that’s a hug. Totally a hug and not a handshake. Did you miss the hand?”

He could feel Bruce’s body shake as he chuckled, stepping back to lightly slap at Tony’s shoulder, “Oh man, I’ve missed having you around.”

Tony opened his mouth to reply, faltering as a voice cried out, “As opposed to being carried by Captain America like a simpering maiden!” 

The blood in Tony’s face quickly rushed to his cheeks, his resolve weakening ever so slightly. The room seemed to freeze, almost as if everyone was holding their breath. Awaiting his reaction. Tony refused to give them one.

“Hey, that squirrel is talking,” Tony pointed towards Rocket, his voice taking on a joking manner, “And what’s code 49? Didn’t we agree on these? Anyone?”

“Aye,” Tony glanced towards Thor as he began to somberly recite the following, “Actions taken on a unconscious teammate are to remain anonymous. It is a grave crime to subject a member to humiliation, rabbit.”

Nebula sent Rocket a pointed look.

“Hey,” he muttered, “How’s a guy supposed to know...”

“Anyways,” Tony turned on his heel, making a beeline towards the coffee pot his gaze had quickly caught on. “Point break is right.”

The room slowly began to settle. The once tense atmosphere began to give; light conversation started to pick back up. Tony was half surprised he hadn’t been barraged with questions as he walked in. Although... perhaps Rhodey had warned everyone off him. He glanced up, cautiously peeking towards Steve. The captain was making a point of facing the opposite direction, his broad shoulders ever so clearly tensed in restraint. Natasha sat next to him, her shoulder pressing against Steve’s. Yeah, Rhodey definitely warned them, then.

Bruce chose that moment to sidle up next to him. Perhaps Tony had spoke to soon. He flicked the machine on, checking that the proper controls were on before pressing start. The smell of fresh coffee being grinded began to quickly fill the room. 

“Hate to ask but...”

“You’ll do it anyways?” Tony mentally prepared himself. His friend paused, almost as if he were carefully choosing his next words. Tony had a faint idea of what they were going to be.

“What happened?” Bruce asked lightly, his tone indicating he was trying to sound casual.

Tony turned around, faltering as he realized the kitchen had suddenly gotten smaller. Or, well, everyone had filled it, crowding around the opposite end of the island. His mouth pressed into a thin line, his fingers anxiously tracing a pattern into his denim jeans. Okay... they’re doing this, then.

“Oh, c’mon, guys,” Rhodey huffed, “We talked about this.”

There was his confirmation. Gotta love Rhodey.

“Wong and I saw you take off with Strange and the kid,” Bruce continued, “And you only came back with Nebula.”

Tony glanced towards the coffee machine anxiously. He really needed a distraction. This topic was beginning to turn in a direction he wasn’t quite yet comfortable discussing.

“Kid?” Thor spoke up, his voice laced in confusion, “Another worthy hero has joined the Avengers?”

“Spider-kid,” Natasha supplied.

“Man,” Tony couldn’t help but correct, his tone halting Thor’s almost reply, “He prefers” -- preferred -- “being called Spider-Man.”

Everyone held their breath.

His tone had grown shaky, his emotions being ever so clear. His attachment to Peter and the reluctance to talk about him seemed to supply everyone with the kid’s whereabouts. At least he wouldn’t have to explain that.

“And yes,” Tony nodded, “He’s an Avenger.”

“Tony,” Steve spoke up, the sound of his voice causing Tony to hold his breath. “You don’t have to do this.”

“You’re right,” Tony relented, turning and forcing himself to meet Steve’s unwavering gaze, “But he deserves this. He deserves to be known as a hero. Because that’s what he will always be known as. To me. As he should be.”

Tony felt brave in this moment. And he could’ve laughed. If Peter were here... Oh, Tony could hear him right then. _”Mr. Stark, you’re showing signs of a true Gryffindor.”_ But Peter wasn’t here. And neither were his pop culture references. Instead, Tony was standing in a room surrounded by people he had once trusted. And he couldn’t wrap his head around it.

Steve had come to his defense, and Tony wasn’t quite sure of his intentions. Did he have an ulterior motive? Was he trying to get his way back into Tony’s good graces? His heart panged, guilt coursing through him. He shouldn’t think that lowly of Steve, should he? 

“As they all should be.” Rhodey rose to his aid, raising his mug and snapping the mechanic from his thoughts. Tony wrinkled his nose at that. Rhodey had gotten into the habit of drinking green tea. Full disclosure, Tony wanted everyone to know he didn’t support this evident bad habit. The Colonel glanced around, his expression almost daring anyone to spite his word, “For Sam.”

The sound of scraping chairs rang out as the surrounding people began to stand. Their expressions were tired and defeated, but strong. A sense of understanding had dawned on them. They had to see the people as who they were. Heroes. Tony held his breath as his eyes grew damp.

“For... the only family I’ve ever known,” Rocket hopped up onto the countertop, lifting his paw. He spun around and met everyone’s gaze with a look of defiance, nodding in acceptance before dropping his head, shoulders slumping.

“For my sister,” Nebula spoke up, coming to a stop besides Rocket. Her typical neutral facade broke, her expression resembling one of loss and grief. Tony looked away.

“For Vision,” Natasha glanced down. Oh, no... Vision. Tony pressed his lips together, sorrow coursing through his veins. So many people... 

“For...” Thor hesitated, his lips turning down. It was evident he was struggling internally, the thoughts and memories of his recent losses weighing hard, “Asgard.” Something had went unsaid there. Tony spent a split second hoping Thor had come at peace with himself.

“For Bucky,” Steve’s voice broke him from his thoughts.

Oh. Tony hadn’t made the connection.

“For everyone,” Bruce summed up, lifting his glass in offering. The room seemed at ease, a mournful atmosphere taking hold of it once more. The silence wasn’t awkward, no. It was of one of understanding. It offered sympathy and understanding. No, Tony wasn’t alone in this. He never was.

“For everyone,” they chorused.

__________

The team was sprawled around the kitchen island, forks clashing against ceramic plates as they devoured their food. Rocket, Rhodey, and Bruce had stepped up and took on the task of preparing dinner. Or, at least, trying to prepare dinner. Tony wasn’t quite sure what Rocket’s dish was supposed to be. Either way, Tony’s stomach was still weak, so he had only managed to hold down half a plate. He found himself sat on the couch, his back rigidly straight as one Steve Rogers settled in next to him.

Tony heard the kitchen grow silent, their conversations dimming as they watched Steve’s movement. The sound of their eating only halted for a split second before abruptly picking back up. If Tony guessed, he’d say either Rhodey or Natasha had sent them warning glances. 

“The surgery went well?” Steve spoke quietly, his palms turned downwards against his knee caps.

Tony half-heartedly wondered if his hands were sweating. He wanted to ask if he made Steve nervous, which, on second thought, sounded inaccurate. How could he make Steve nervous? 

“I’m glad you’re on your feet, now,” Steve added as an afterthought. Tony almost laughed. Steve _was_ nervous. He was acting the way he once did at the beginning of their relationship. Trying to keep up a conversation. Fidgeting in his seat. Desperately trying to find ways to relate to Tony. But Tony didn’t need them then. And he didn’t need them now, either.

“I’m good,” Tony conceded, keeping his gaze on his lap, “Doc said I should be good as new. Minimal scarring.”

“That’s good, I’m glad to hear it,” Steve nodded quickly, seeming distracted as he glanced around nervously, “I– Could we talk?”

Tony paused.

He stole a fleeting glance at Steve, his skin prickling under that intense blue gaze. They were inches apart and Tony had never felt farther from Steve. They spent two years without one another and even then, Tony hadn’t felt like this. He didn’t quite understand it. It sounded ridiculous; he knew it did. But maybe it was because it hadn’t quite hit him. The realization that... they weren’t quite them anymore. Before, after Siberia.. Tony could pretend they just had a disagreement. That maybe one day they’d have something resembling what they once were.

But now? It was never more evident than in this moment that they would have to actually work back towards something even close to being just... just friends. Was that enough for Tony? Did he even want more? Every potential answer he thought of scared him.

“Isn’t that.. what we’re doing?” Tony chose his words carefully.

“Tony,” Steve sighed, shoulders slumping, “I mean.. Alone. Without everyone in the kitchen pretending they’re not eavesdropping. Please?”

Tony glanced back at the kitchen, pursing his lips as heads quickly swiveled away. So maybe the living room was not the best spot to talk. But, could Tony handle being alone with Steve? Would he be able to stand his ground? He feared he would crumble as soon as he found himself cornered with only Steve there as a witness. Did he even have another option? He eventually made his decision and stood.

“I suppose you have a place in mind?” Tony tried to appear collected, even though he was inwardly a mess. 

Steve jumped to his feet, jerking his head in the universal acknowledgment of ‘follow me.’ Hell, Tony would still follow him anywhere, wouldn’t he? Tony made a point of not allowing himself to look back towards the kitchen. He knew everyone was attempting to subtly watch, and he really didn’t want to see what they were thinking.

They quietly made their way through the corridor, veering right instead of left, the previous direction Tony had come from when leaving the medical wing. He made a mental note of that. In case of emergencies, of course. Like breaking out from speaking of emotional trauma. He wasn’t sure if that was a real thing, but... 

“This is where I sleep,” Steve broke him from his thoughts.

Tony came to a halt, barely avoiding colliding into Steve’s back. Steve ignored that, instead choosing to slide the door open to give them both entrance. He strolled in, a hesitant and cautious Tony behind him. His thoughts raced. Steve said... where he slept. Hope bloomed in his chest at the prospect of Steve refusing to call this his room. He swallowed it down. That would be a topic for another day, perhaps.

“You can sit wherever you like.” Steve motioned around, taking a seat at the foot of his bed. He crossed his legs, then anxiously uncrossed them.

The silence in the room was deafening. Tony shifted his weight before making his way towards a modernly designed desk with a wheeled chair beside it. The desk was located a few feet from the bed, directly in Steve’s line of vision. He took a seat, crossing his ankles before sighing.

What were they doing? Was this... actually happening? If felt surreal. Tony didn’t actually believe he’d ever find himself back in Steve’s presence, alone. Actually, he couldn’t believe he allowed himself to be alone with Steve. Worse things have happened, though. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve began.

No, Tony thought, closing his eyes. 

Deep breathes.

This was happening.

“I.. I know I hurt you,” Steve whispered, sounding defeated, “I know how it looks. I didn’t.. I didn’t realize that until it was too late. Natasha.. she explained.”

“What do you mean?” Tony’s throat was hoarse.

Steve glanced away, blinking rapidly. Tony froze, his breath hitching. There’s no way he was... he couldn’t be crying. Was he? 

“You thought I chose Bucky over you.”

“Didn’t you?” Tony couldn’t help but sound bitter.

“No,” Steve crossed his arms, a tell-tale sign that he was growing anxious. “But.. I see how that looks now. And I’m sorry I made you feel... abandoned.”

Tony almost pinched himself. Steve wasn’t bullshitting the situation. He was... owning up to his mistakes. Tony didn’t know how to feel. He struggled with acknowledging the regret swimming in Steve’s eyes. Somehow, Steve knowing he fucked up made this situation more difficult. Tony had expected for the entire disagreement over the Accords to erupt. He was prepared to point out Steve’s flaws, not for Steve to truly apologize. Tony was at a loss.

“I never wanted to hurt you.” Steve’s voice broke, his shoulders hunching in. “Not you.”

Oh, no. No, no, no..

Tony squeezed his eyes shut, his hands clenching into fists at his aides. He refused to give in. He was not– not going to rush to Steve’s side. No. He, Tony, was the one who deserved comfort. That’s what Rhodey would say. Tony could hear him now.. But Rhodey wasn’t in the room. And Steve was an inch from crying.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” At least Tony was being honest. This was a good start. “You made a decision and... And it had consequences. I guess we’re both paying the price for those now.”

“About the Accords or Bucky?” Steve fiddled with his thumbs.

“Why not both?”

“Suppose that’s fair,” Steve nodded, “I still stand behind my initial beliefs. But now I see that maybe I went about them the wrong way.”

“Maybe?” Tony scoffed. Now they were getting somewhere. Calling Steve out? This is something he could handle. “You- you tore the team apart! And for what? To feed into the mighty ‘Captain America, freedom and justice for all’ agenda?”

“For what I believed in! I’ve always struggled with trusting the Government, and you knew that. You knew I had valid reasons. At the moment it seemed like it was either with them or against them. But now I see that you were one step ahead. You were playing your cards close. I’m not afraid to admit I was wrong, not anymore,” Steve rose to his feet, scowling, “You think I wanted to go against you? That I wanted to be at odds with you of all people?”

“Because you made it seem so hard,” sarcasm dripped from Tony’s tone, “And thanks for realizing that you were wrong. Yeah. What a lot of good that’s gonna do us now. Oh, and by the way? It must have been hell to leave me for Barnes. I can see that now. And much more. Like this. It was clearly a mistake.”

Tony slid to his feet, side-stepping Steve as he made his way towards the door. Blood pounded in his ears as his feet slapped against the ground. Oh, how foolish he had been to have even hoped that–

“You think- you really think,” Steve cut himself off, reaching out to grasp Tony’s wrist, “Natasha was right. I really am a fool.”

“What do you mean,” Tony spit, jerking at his wrist. 

Steve frowned before letting go, rolling his eyes as Tony made a point to soothe the skin. 

“Bucky and I have never been anything more than friends,” Steve spoke softly.

“And why should I believe you?” 

Steve’s hurt expression shouldn’t have caused Tony to feel guilty. He had no right to demand trust from Tony. Not now.

“You remember what it felt like when we both realized we had slept in the same bed together for a month?” Steve asked, abruptly turning away and facing a set of windows.

“I– What does that have to do with anything?” Tony faltered.

“I fell asleep on my bed after drawing the skyline because my room had the best view of the sunset,” Steve ignored him, which, wouldn’t be a first, “And you stumbled in around five in the morning and crawled in beside me.”

Tony remembered. Oh, how he remembered walking into their room from a two day lab binge to realize Steve hadn’t made it to bed yet, either. His first instinct was to panic until he reassured himself that if something were to have happened, he would’ve been notified. But then he grew anxious. He worried if he had somehow did something to upset Steve. He threw caution to the wind and abandoned the doorway to make his way towards Steve’s floor.

His feet padded against the flooring, his eyes drooping as he peeked in, a smile tugging at his lips as he took in the site before him. Steve was sitting up against his headboard, an array of art supplies spread out around him as his sketchbook sat on his lap, his lips barely parted.

“That feeling,” Steve broke him from his thoughts, “Think of that and put myself in your position. Now tell me you think that I would even think of leaving you for anyone else.”

“I don’t understand,” Tony was at loss.

Tony’s thoughts were racing. None of this was making sense. If Steve and Barnes were never more, then what did this mean? And how could Steve even say that, unless he still... still–

“I loved you then,” Steve’s voice broke, “And I still love you now.”

“Don’t tell me you love me unless you mean it,” Tony retorted just as quickly as the last word left Steve’s mouth.

“Oh, Tony,” Steve turned towards him, smiling sadly, “I never stopped.”

Tony’s breathing stopped. 

He rocked back on his heels, his heart pounding as he anxiously rubbed his palms against his thighs. Breathe, he mentally told himself. Inhale. Hold it. Exhale. Repeat.

Tony didn’t know if he could have ever prepared himself for this. There was no warning. No indication. Nothing but radio silence on Steve’s end for two years and what... he still loves him? It didn’t sound realistic to Tony. And yet, he heard it with his own ears. 

“In what universe?” Tony crossed his arms, trying to make himself seem larger. After all, he’d always been told he takes up the attention of the whole room when he walks in. “That’s not... That’s not right. I refuse to believe it.”

“You don’t get to tell me how I feel,” Steve turned to look at him, clearing the distance between them with his eyes narrowed in defiance, “You can tell me I’m wrong and that I’m arrogant. But what gives you the right to tell me how I feel–“

“ _You_ left!” Tony shoved his finger in Steve’s chest, his face crumpling. He couldn’t take it. Steve was so close and the room felt like it was shrinking. Tony half associated that with Steve’s hulking form towering over him. Either way, it was impossible for him to maintain his cool façade. 

Tears pooled in his eyes.

Yeah, he had definitely lost control of keeping his emotions in check. There was no going back now. That much Tony could see. The dams had been broke and there was no way he could try to act like he was okay. At least, not to Steve. Steve, who knew him like the back of his own hand. Steve could read him like a book. 

“How can you say you love me, if you left?” Tony’s voice sounded small, “You walked away. And that’s on you, not me. Don’t bullshit me, Rogers.”

**Don’t bullshit me, Rogers.**

“I didn’t think I had another option.”

Tony scoffed at that. 

“Admit your pride was in the way,” Tony glanced down, his hands trembling at his sides, “You were a coward. You–“

“I know!” Steve snapped, crossing his arms. Tony tried not to stare as his biceps bulged. This was not the time, Tony. It might never be the time, he added wryly. 

“I took the easy way out. I think about that moment everyday. When I– when I was fighting Thanos’s children, I thought about how the last time I had fought someone.. it was you. And that hurt me more than you could ever know.”

“Oh, well, I’m sorry you have to think about it,” Tony spoke dryly, “Personally, I had to live through it.”

Steve nodded jerkily, taking a deep breath before stepping back. He motioned towards the bed, a frown marring his face as he took a seat. Tony cautiously sat beside him, desperately avoiding the memory of the last time they shared a bed. Instead, he attempted to discreetly wipe his face.

“I did not agree with the Accords because... because I’ve always struggled with allowing my actions to be controlled. It scared me,” he exhaled, laughing bitterly, “And Bucky? He was just the icing on the cake. It felt like everything was trying to push us apart.”

“You should’ve pushed back,” Tony bit his lip, holding back from adding something even more hurtful. “ _I_ did." 

“I should’ve done a lot of things,” Steve spoke quietly.

“Did you think about the alternatives?” Tony turned away, “I did. I knew the plans. The Secretary of Defense – have you heard of Project Wide Awake?”

Steve picked at the comforter, nodding once. That shocked Tony. _When had he learned of this?_ Tony wanted to ask.

“Not until after,” Steve added, “Natasha.”

“So, you know then. Have you imagined a sky full of sentinels hunting us down? Forcibly implanting inhibitor circuits in our brains that take away our powers?” Tony’s voice became sharp, “Genetic testing of the entire population so any potential superhumans are under government control before they’re even born?”

“My first thought was, ‘we’d fight it. We’d stop it,’” Steve laughed bitterly, “But then I realized too late that that’s what you were trying to do.”

Tony’s eyes stung. There had been so many times in which he had hoped to hear Steve admit defeat. To admit his wrongs. But now? It was too late. Even Steve had said so.

“And about Bucky... I had worked myself up. Realistically, maybe I knew you’d struggle with accepting him. But I wasn’t using logic,” Steve swallowed, “I thought that if I had managed to get him back to before his soldier’s programming somehow... then I would tell you. And it would be easier if he were more him and less Hydra.”

Tony blinked.

Did this make things better? No, most certainly not. But it at least offered an explanation behind Steve’s profoundly problematic way of thinking. But was that enough? Did this give Tony enough reason to accept Steve’s half attempt of an apology? Hell, who was he kidding. Tony was known to forgive and forget. Maybe that was his biggest flaw. Allowing people second chances. Did Steve deserve one? Maybe not. But Tony would give it to him anyways.

“You should’ve told me,” Tony crossed his legs, drumming his fingers against his knee.

“I should’ve,” Steve nodded.

“Well,” Tony stood, making a show of arching his back, “Nice talk, Cap. Emotions were shown. Let’s do it again... never. I think I’m starting to break out in hives.”

“What – Tony,” Steve lunged to his feet as Tony made his way towards the door.

“Is, is this a rash?” Tony motioned to his neck, pressing the tips of his fingers to his skin, “Yeah. I think I’m breaking out.”

“Tony, wait,” Steve shot his hand out, his fingers curling around Tony’s shoulder, “Are we – just wait.”

“What, Spangles?” Tony tried to shove his feelings back down. “We’re good? Let’s not make this any harder.”

“What about...” Steve lowered his voice, “Us?”

“Oh, I’m sure we can manage the team alright,” Tony shrugged, making a point to raise a brow at Steve’s hand still on his shoulder, “Of course. If they’ll have me back.”

“What? Of course they’ll have you back,” Steve spluttered, pulling his hand back before regaining his train of thought. “And you know that’s not what I meant.”

“Listen,” Tony lowered his gaze, “I don’t have time for games. Let’s not go in circles.”

“Us, Tony, what about our relationship?” Steve stressed the last part, his expression seeming hopeful.

Tony paused, choosing his next words carefully. “There doesn’t... seem to be a relationship.”

Steve’s face fell.

“C’mon, Rogers,” Tony sighed, “Use your words. Hell, can’t believe I have to be the one to say that.”

“I suppose it’s too much to hope for a second shot at us?” Steve’s voice sounded defeated. 

Tony took one glance at Steve’s drawn expression and deeply exhaled. He had always struggled with turning down those baby blues. He allowed himself a second of doubt. Was this a good idea? Most certainly not one of his best. 

He surged forward, his fingers gripping the material at Steve’s shoulders. It was like something gave. Steve’s tense form relaxed, his body curling down into the position he had grown the utmost familiar with. Tony leaned up on the tip of his toes, pausing just before connected their lips. He could feel Steve’s breath fan across his face as his arms reached down and encased Tony’s smaller form. Tony shivered as Steve’s hands clutched at his waist. Steve squeezed his hip.

“Is this okay?” 

Tony’s heart broke at Steve’s evident caution. Tony understood consent, he did. But they never had to ask before. A tear rolled down his cheek at their current predicament.

“Yes,” Tony nodded jerkily before wrapping his right arm around Steve’s neck. He cupped the back of the captain’s head, his fingers softly gripping the end strands of his blonde hair. He gently pulled him closer, trying to convey his intentions.

Steve bent down, lifting his hand to cup Tony’s cheek as he connected their mouths for the first time in years. Tony deflated, his body melting in Steve’s grasp. His arms locked behind Steve’s head, his mouth devouring Steve’s own. Taking what was offered. 

The blonde figure took a measured step back, alerting Tony of his movement before tugging him to the edge of the bed. Steve pulled away with a gasp, lowering himself to the bed and leaning back with his arms propping himself up. Tony stood between his parted legs before lifting one knee to the bed, the other one following. 

Tony sat astride Steve, his chest heaving. The blonde haired man reached outwards, his fingers sliding under the hem of the mechanic’s shirt. Tony inhaled as Steve dug his fingers into the skin of his hips. He leaned forwards, pressing a gentle kiss to Steve’s own lips. Steve pressed closer, tilting his head as he yearned to steal the very breath from Tony.

Tony gave Steve’s bottom lip a few teasing nips before he pulled away. Steve’s mouth followed, his lips parting before he allowed his head to fall back against the bed. Tony settled back on Steve’s lap, his fingers tracing down the soldier’s abdomen. Steve’s eyes watch him closely, his face neutral. His eyes were blue, and looked cold. He forced himself to hold off a shiver. Tony could feel the heat of his body, though, could feel the anticipation burning through those super soldier veins. 

Steve’s hand reached up, his fingers skimming across Tony’s bruised lip. He exhaled before dropping his arms by his side, offering Tony a hesitant smile. 

Tony returned it.

Maybe things wouldn’t be like before. But this situation had given him hope. The prospect of having adult conversations wasn’t something Tony looked forward to. He inwardly cringed at that. But... it would be worth it. To keep something familiar. Even if this turned into something different. Change is good, Tony assured himself. 

“Now what?” Tony allowed himself to roll off Steve and onto the bed. His feet dangled over the bottom edge of the mattress. 

He could hear the sound of sheets rustling as Steve sat up, readjusting his shirt. The blonde soldier glanced down, his bruised lips pursing in thought before parting. Tony held his breath.

“Do you remember what I said before we tried to defeat Ultron?”

Tony blinked.

That... that most certainly was not what Tony was expecting to come from Steve’s mouth. His thoughts raced, recalling the intense meeting as the team gathered in the lab. 

“The deep emotional ‘we can do it, yes we can’ speech?” Tony frowned, raising a brow as Steve rolled his eyes.

“Yes, that would be the one,” Steve silently urged him on.

Tony slumped back, crossing his arm over his eyes as he exhaled. He couldn’t believe Steve was making him do this..,

“Together,” Tony recited, squeezing his eyes shut as the bed dipped. Steve rolled over, leaning over Tony’s chest to prop himself up with one arm. Tony dropped his own arms and let them rest by his sides, his brown eyes searching Steve’s own gaze.

Steve stared down at him, his mop of hair disheveled. Tony lifted a shaky hand, his fingers pushing back the few strands of hair blocking those blue eyes. Steve leaned into his touch, the ghost of a smile haunting those oh-so-familiar lips. 

“And if we lose?” Steve replied with what was once Tony’s line.

It felt like something more was being said. This moment was intense; the atmosphere felt almost electrifying. It held many promises even though few words were being spoken. And Tony knew exactly what he was supposed to say next.

“Then we’ll do that together, too,” he whispered, reaching out to curl his arm around Steve’s neck, burying his face into the crook of Steve’s neck as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Steve pressed his lips against the side of Tony’s temple, his hand cupping the back of Tony’s head as his thumb ran down the side of his face.

Oh, how they’d bring hell down on those who dared to cross them. And they’d do that, together, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Wasn't sure if I would actually write a sequel but.. here it is! Thank you to everyone for being so encouraging regarding the prequel. I appreciated all of the feedback!
> 
> And a big THANK YOU to one of my favorite Tony stans, Tones! Ugh, they beta'd this so I don't know where I'd be without them (probably still reviewing it). Anyways, thanks again Tones. 
> 
> Please leave your thoughts! Let me know if you cried/laughed. I really tried to give us all the RhodeyTony content IW was missing. Also, this will be the last in this series. I may come back and add to it once A4 drops but that'll be awhile, so..
> 
> Thanks for reading! (Krusca, if you see this, hope the ST and RT content was fulfilling)  
> Don't be afraid to comment! Also, thank you Nihaal for helping me as I made a last second decision and changed the title.
> 
> You can find me as @winterstarks on Twitter.


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